FWF! And my 300th post!

So I’ve been absent from Free Write Friday for a while now but I’m glad I had a few minutes today to sit down and write! This is also my 300th post oFWF! And my 300th post!n this blog (whoo hoo)! Anyway, the prompt was:

My attempt:

Some days it just doesn’t make sense.
Not any of it.
How we threaten with palms tight around unlit matches
And eyes falling in love with gasoline canisters
Without hesitation

We forget that we are forests
We are branch limbed
And wildflower tongued
We are all too willing start something we cannot contain.

 

So that was my contribution to the prompt, hope you enjoyed! 

My possibly unpopular opinion on social interactions…

A friend of mine posted on Facebook yesterday about something that bothered him so I thought I’d share a few of my own thoughts on the subject. His post was about his opinion on the “fad of people popping in headphones the second they get up from their desk, in the elevator, etc.”

I read through the comments and made my own as well on the topic but here I want to fully invest in my opinion on the matter, so let’s go.

To start, I think that it has completely become the norm to pop in headphones at any random moment, be it walking to the bus station, heading to the break room or moving through the line in a grocery store. We all have our reasons. For some it is an easy distraction or a way to pass time and for others it is a way to let people know that you are not open to conversation without actually having to be a butt and say you are not open to conversation.

After reading the post my friend wrote as well as the comments that people made in response I became bothered by the fact that this “anti-social” act seems to offend or upset others. To me it seems silly that people are frustrated with their peers decision to abstain from socializing on their own time.

I personally am “that person”, the one who will put on headphones the moment I am on break because it’s my break and that’s the way I want to keep it. Is that wrong? No. Socializing is supposed to be a positive and fulfilling experience, in my opinion that means that all parties involved are there because they WANT to be.

I have more introvert qualities than extrovert. I can be social and the center of a conversation when I choose to be but most days I like to lay low. Why should I be looked at with annoyance because I don’t want to engage with my peers? I shouldn’t. No one should. Interaction for some takes more energy than can be imagined by those who are ‘social butterflies’.

Another issue I have with this whole topic is this; I have had days where I didn’t pop in headphones the instant I stepped away from my desk and hit the break room and still never wound up engaged in a scintillating conversation. Why do people think that the headphones in everyone’s ears are the real reason conversations aren’t happening? If someone wants to talk to you, it will happen. If not, it won’t happen…simple as that, headphones or not.

My main problem though is that it seems as if some people feel like they are entitled to a social interaction with their peers strictly because they are in the same place at the same time. No. It does not work that way. Social interaction is a two way street, there must be give and take. If my attention is not given then that means it is not your right to be offended if it does not become yours to take.  

I’m going to stop myself now because I can feel this post is only going to get longer and longer with my thoughts when I’m really eager to know your opinion on this. Does it bother you when you see your co-workers/peers choose their headphones over chatting? Do you think it should matter to others if you slink off to the break room with your music as your lunch date? Are you someone who always slips headphones in when you have a spare moment or do you hate when you witness this action from your peers? If I’m not the only one with an opinion on this, let’s discuss!

New Video! (Monster)

Hi there!

I’m really excited to share my official video of the poem “Monster”! I shot this video to accompany my debut poetry album, In the making, which was released May 1st. I hope you guys enjoy the poem!

A lot of people have said that they can relate to the content of this piece. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic. How does this piece make you feel? Have you ever experienced something similar or witnessed the aftermath of someone else’s experience? What do you think we can do to lessen the frequency of this situation? Can we even dream of lessening the frequency of this situation? Tell me what you think.

I’d love for you to connect with me on twitter @talichaj
I’m also on Facebook 

 

FWF/NaPoWriMo! “Life, love…”

 

Happy Monday! As always, the awesome/talented/creative Kellie Elmore gave an interesting prompt with Free Write Friday which you can read here. I hope you guys enjoy my take on it!

Make up your mind
I can not take your push and pull
Your hot then cold
You are an ever-swinging pendulum with all the back and forth

You are a Rubik’s cube
A high level sudoku
Not impossible to solve
But so much work to figure out

I am tired
Trying to make sense of everything you put me through
Never making sense of anything
My lids are so heavy

I used to understand.
I thought I understood
But now I am finding myself too often
In rooms that have just barely enough air in them to survive

But you want me to survive
Count on my will to stay with you
I feel rooted in your living room
And I just want to feel like I’m really home when I’m there

Tell me that I am home
Wrap me up, pull me close
Fill my nostrils with the scent of you
Until all I am is full of you

You are life
You are why I feel anything at all
And I just want to feel good with you again
I only want to be good with you

Make up your mind
Make up your mind to stick with me
Watch me love you even when I do not understand
Love me even when you do not think you have been understood.

 

Thanks for reading/listening! I hope you enjoyed my attempt at the prompt, if so, let me know in the comments below! You can also chat with me on twitter @talichaj or on my facebook page facebook.com/talichaj. And of course, be sure to follow the amazing Kellie Elmore as well @kellie_elmore!

 

 

Free Write Friday! “You Called Me Love”

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The Prompt: Ponder This

Love was just a word
Just a flick of a tongue
A quick exhale
It only meant fleeting

And then you happened
And you’d call me ‘love’
And it made me feel like
I was burning under my skin

No one had ever gotten beneath the surface
Until you, your love, you nestled inside me
Wriggled your way through the cracks
I thought I’d kept well hidden

You planted your lips as seeds against the
Soil of my fluttering field heart and blossomed
A brilliantly beautiful thing you were,
And you’d call me “love”

My favorite past-time was running the
naked skin of my palms along the bared
Flesh of your back, kneading my fingers into
The softness that camouflaged the sinewy strength against your spine

No, it was looking into those eyes,
The ones that always drank me in as if I were the only thing to behold,
the way they turned my pulse into an impulsively pulsating rhythm uncontrollable.

Or maybe it was just loving you back.
Yes, loving you back as hard as I was capable
Until my knuckles ached from holding on
And my throat was raw from the strain of saying the words so much they became my exhale

Love never felt like butterflies to me
It was only just a word, fleeting
And then you happened
And you’d call me ‘love’

I swear there were wings inside
Beating gently against my ribcage
Eager to find their way to you
every time you called me ‘love’.

So it’s been a couple of weeks since I posted for #FWF it feels good to be back! I actually started a story for last weeks prompt but I haven’t had a chance to finish it yet, keep an eye out for a really creepy story though 🙂

I hope you guys enjoyed this, it was random as always. I look forward to reading what everyone else posted in response to this prompt as well! 

Be sure to check out Kellie on twitter @kellie_elmore and you can follow me there as well @talichaj 

Braving Up!

I’ve always been the “sweet” one, the one who is quiet and shy and polite. I won’t say that those who think that of me are wrong, of course, I am all those things but I’m also so much, much more. For as long as I can remember I have always had a fear of disappointing others or causing any upset or disrupting those surrounding me. I don’t know exactly where that fear comes from, or maybe I do, but I just don’t care to think hard enough into my past to figure it out. Because of said fear, I’ve always been cautious with how I present myself. Speaking politely, using proper grammar (or as close to proper as possible), never cursing or using vulgar language and so on. I never had an opinion that was purely my own because I was too busy trying to appease everyone else (and also because I am extremely indecisive). I simply smiled and stayed in the background as much as any given situation would allow. Over time, that became my comfort zone.

Through the years, I have encountered many different personalities and they’ve all been nothing like myself. I’ve met people who speak loudly, some (okay lots) who use curse words as much as most use the words “the” and “and”. I’ve met people who are not afraid to choose the least popular opinion as their own and fight for it despite what offense others may have because of it. Each of them have taught me that it doesn’t always matter how other people are going to receive you as long as you are always giving them your “true self”. I’m still learning how to do that. I’ve spent my whole life in a shell so-to-speak and it will take time and experimentation to break all those habits. But I want to break them.

I’ve started doing things like speaking up when I find myself being treated poorly. I no longer take the reactions of others so seriously; of course, I don’t go out of my way to offend others but I also don’t censor myself strictly from fear of breaking an image. Although there are still things that I have yet to conquer, I find that with age I am gradually learning to let go of the constant fear that kept me from becoming (on the outside) the person I have always been (on the inside).

What I hope whoever reads this gets out of it is as follows:

1. Never be afraid to be who you are.
2. Don’t let other people be the reason you make certain choices.
3. Work towards changing the things about yourself that make you unhappy or unsatisfied.
4. An image is just an image. You are more than what appears at first glance.

These simple lines are really the only thing I’m trying to remind myself: “There’s nothing wrong with who you are!” and “Just be true to who you are!” by Jessie J. from her song “Who you are”.

Let me know if you have had similar thoughts and feelings, and if you have any tips for braving up and being “your true self” share them with us in the comments below! We can also discuss this on twitter! Tweet #BravingUp to @talichaj
Thanks for reading my random thoughts. Until next time!

Free Write Friday! Falling

The prompt:

“We started dying before the snow, and like the snow, we continued to fall.” — Louise Erdrich, Tracks

The attempt:

Falling

We are burning bridges
And sinking ships
And fallen towers

We are crashing cars
And trains derailing
And branches breaking

We are slipping knots
And broken doorknobs
And leaky faucets

Everything we do is wrong
Even what is right
We are never blending

Always shifting
Always changing
Minds and directions

We are a map
Torn in half
Only missing the piece we need

We are missing the peace we need
Fighting in the name of freedom
What is freedom?

We fall
Like snowflakes
Hoping we don’t melt before we hit the ground

Hoping we don’t melt once we’ve hit the ground
We are falling
We are all falling.

Free Write Friday! Already

The prompt:

The attempt:

So what if I should have?
I didn’t.
It’s done.

Time is not patient
Life is not forgiving
And both are always running out too soon

I won’t waste my worries on the past
Or at least I’ll say I won’t
And I’ll try but if I don’t, who cares?

What-if’s and should-have’s
Are only pre-requisites for regret
And I don’t want too many of those to look back on

We are all our own hourglass
With tiny grains of sand for seconds
That still fall through even when we aren’t watching

We are not allowed to pick any of those pieces up
And move them back to the side that gives
We can only let them go, watch them settle but not change them

That, that is what life is right?
Decisions; sand grains that are heavy if you could hold them
Actions and thoughts that may be right or wrong but are still ours

Every moment in life is a potential what if
A should have.
A could of.
A maybe.

Every moment in life lived is also an already.

Hey guys! I hope you are all having a fantastic Friday! This is the last FWF of the year, can you believe it!??! A huge thank you goes to the talented Kellie Elmore for giving us such awesome content to use for inspiration. I hope next year is full of tons more motivation for us all! Thanks for reading/listening. I can’t wait to see what comes next for us all! 

Free Write Friday! “Figure it out”

The prompt:

envelope-typewriter-words-Favim.com-404175_large

The attempt:

There are three envelopes.
One for what I say to make things easy
One for what I say to purposely make things hard.
And one for all the things I was never able to say to you because I’d have to say them to myself first.

I only placed one in the mail today,
And now I’m afraid it may have been the wrong one.
If it gets to you, don’t read it.
Burn it. Rip it into as many tiny pieces as you can and then set it on fire.

Or don’t.
Maybe it’s best this way.
Maybe the choice I made will save us both,
Will heal our sore hearts
Maybe it will be what sets us free.

You are a steel door most days
And I have lived my life trying to be a hinge connected to you
Allowing you the ability to move in the right direction
But I’m backwards and you, you take advantage of the freedom I’ve given

You wear me like an excuse, and I let you so maybe
I should be the one waiting by the mailbox instead.
But I know I’ll never get what I’m waiting for.
You know you will never give me what I’m waiting for.

Maybe I’ll mail the other two as well,
Throw you off my trail a little bit,
Stir things up and give myself a bit of wiggle room to work with eh?
I’ll let you process what every word of every letter means, on your own.

There are three envelopes.
One for what I say to make things easy
One for what I say to purposely make things hard.
And one for all the things I was never able to say to you because I’d have to say them to myself first.

I placed them all in the mail today
I doubted myself, and I doubted you.
I hope you’ll figure out which one I meant to send
I hope you know me well enough to figure it out…

I swear I gush every time I do a FWF about how much I love the free writing style of writing. I never would have written anything like this otherwise. Thanks to the wonderful Kellie Elmore  for always providing interesting prompts! Make sure you go support her today as her new book Candy from strangers is now available for purchase!!!

This is me

I am Frank Ocean and deadmau5
Classical and pop
Comedy and horror
Modern and traditional
Cheap beer and sweet wine

I am simply complicated
The way sour patch kids left you perplexed
The first time you ever tasted them

I am made of absent minded mother
And just plain absent father
I am only child raised In the home
But sibling to older brother and sister

I am poetry at it’s most average
Young adult novel and short stories
You will find me on the beach just to sit
In the ocean just to float

I am a million different things
There are parts of me most people will never see
But for the most part this is me.
Flats never heels
Makeup when I want to feel pretty
Pretty when I want to feel loved
Wanting to feel loved when I need it.

Love and Riding Bikes

larb

Letting go of love is a lot like that moment you learn how to ride a bike on your own;
The whole time, someone else has been there right beside you
helping and supporting you,
and isn’t that an essential part of love?
The support I mean.

And you feel different because you have them there,
more assured and confident.
Just the thought of them not being there is terrifying and absolutely impossible to imagine.
You know without any doubt that they are necessary to maintain your balance and peace of mind,
you believe that it’s the two of you together that enables you to be so brave and successful.
Thing is, you’re only fooling yourself because they let go a long time ago,
and it’s just been you, holding your on self up and moving your own self forward.

You’ll wobble for a bit at first when you realize they are not going to be there when you look back,
fear will make you believe the most absurd things sometimes, it makes you believe that you would not stay steady on your on, that you will not gain speed and become comfortable taking the lead by your self;
Fear is a liar

Letting go of love feels like that moment when I realized I was pedaling on my own,
doing something for myself.
And yes, it was scary, I zigged and zagged and wobbled,
but I never fell.
I supported my self,
and I think that’s an essential part of the best love,
of self love.

I hope you guys enjoyed this new poem! I may record it later since you guys seem to like the spoken word pieces I do. Thanks for reading! Check back for more or you can follow me on twitter @talichaj where I post all updates! 

Did you miss my last poem “Just Be”? It’s okay you can read/listen here!

Poem of the week! Jess “Physicality”

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Happy November! I hope you guys enjoyed all the “poem of the week” features in October as much as I did! This month is going to keep that momentum going and I’ve got a great poem to kick us off! This week we’re going to read “Physicality” by Jess! I came across the work of Jess last week while reading through the poetry tag here on wordpress and I was drawn in by the honesty in her writing. I love finding poets that just capture my attention and reignite my passion for reading because I’ll let you guys in on a little secret; I’m not a huge fan of reading poetry. If you haven’t noticed a lot of the featured poems tend to be spoken word videos, but not today, today I’ve found a writer that makes me want to read!

Read Physicality by Jess!

Make sure you guys comment on her poem to let her know what you think! Also check her out on twitter @jessibabix33 and follow me as well @talichaj so you don’t miss next weeks p.o.w.!

Just be

I used to think marriage,
Think children; a whole house filled
I used to think not quite picket fence
More like wrap around porch
And weeping willow by the lake

I used to think cookies baking
Lemonade sipping at sunset
And laughter, lots of laughter

I used to think you,
Not just you but you and me,
Think kisses, think safety, think love.
Now I think I thought too much
Now I live now, not later
Now I don’t think about you

Don’t think about us
Don’t think about the potential we had
Decided not to fret about a fairytale
Decided not to dwell on what isn’t
what won’t, what can not.

Chose to let go of frivolous thoughts
It hurt to hold on to loving you
I Chose to let go of what hurt so long to hold on to
Chose to just be.
Un-holding
Un-held
No thinking about not thinking.
I think I figured out how to just be.

 

The dark places

The dark places
pull you below,
They grasp tightly
like weights on ankles
under water

They steal the air
from burning lungs,
And draw the screams
from tumultuous guts

The dark places
Relentlessly cast you in fear,
They convince you light has ceased.
It will never cease

When the darkness surrounds you
turn yourself into fire of determination
that equally lights the way
and sears the fingers of the dark that holds you.

Don’t you just love a random free write in the middle of the night? I have no clue where this poem came from, or even what it’s supposed to mean to me. However, I wrote it so I thought I’d share it in its raw form.

The leap

This is a super short story (less than 500 words) that I wrote as part of a writing prompt given by @writerlytweets We were asked to begin with the words “She jumped” and write for ten minutes. This is what I came up with. 

leapsharp 

   She jumped, well figuratively speaking, since her feet\ never actually left the ground. But she did indeed leap and did so without looking for fear of freaking out. We all have those things that just get to us, the ones that we can’t help but attempt to avoid at all costs. This was one for her. She had stayed up all night contemplating the options that lay ahead of her. Should she stick this out, see what it could really become or should she just call it quits and get the heck out of dodge?

   Love was not something Remy understood before she met Miles, and to be honest, it’s still not something she understands even after realizing she just may love him. She had always been on the outside of what was normal; no real family, no education beyond high school and no worthy relationships. Her life had been a series of events that led her to circumstances beyond her control. She worked, and at work she minded her own business. Then she went home…alone. Well technically she wasn’t completely alone because she counted Mr. sniffles, her light brown and white haired cat. She and Mr. sniffles were doing just fine on their own until one day Miles walked into the coffee shop and ordered a tall caramel mocha and double chocolate chunk cookie from her. He’d made some lame joke that surprisingly made Remy laugh without even meaning to. He had told her she had a beautiful smile and promised to come back to see it again. He hadn’t lied. In fact, he came by every day for two weeks just to speak with her for reasons she still cannot comprehend. Eventually, she gave in to his requests and joined him for dinner. Since that night they’d been inseparable.

   Love is not something Remy can explain. It took a lot more than two weeks of coffees to bring her to this ledge, her and Miles spent nearly a year learning one another as friends and testing her limits. He told her he loved her early on, but said that he’d wait for her to be ready to accept that from him. He honored his word, never pushing or pressuring her. It just hit her that she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. So tonight, she stands before him, eyes filled with fright and awe, and she just does it. She jumps. It is every bit as scary as she thought it would be but loving someone outweighs that fear. And being loved outweighs everything else.