Happy NaPoWriMo!

Hi guys! It’s been a LONG time since I’ve posted one of my poems here. That’s because I’ve been working hard on finishing my poetry book. It’s almost done so I figured I’d take a small break and participate in NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month, for those outside of the loop). I’ll try my best to post daily but being an adult means life gets hectic sometimes, you know how it is!

This poem was inspired from a quote by Assata Shakur I came across on tumblr, “We’re taught at such an early age to be against the communists, yet most of us don’t have the faintest idea what communism is. Only a fool lets somebody else tell him who his enemy is.” The poem in general has nothing to do with communism but more-so the idea of the things I don’t know. The things that have yet to be discovered by me and the urge to change that in all aspects. I think it’s easy to listen to other people’s view of the world and all it contains but it’s better to experience and learn for yourself. So without further ado:

Wider than a Big Bang

This world is filled with gifts,
much granite unturned,
many undiscovered roads.

I want to cross bridges,
duck under low hanging branches,
slosh through rivers bare knee’d,

unafraid of the little things,
or the big ones,
or of anything in between.

To glimpse a turnoff and take it
not caring where it leads,
as long as it goes.

Lounging at the edge of any shore as the waves kiss me,
sprawled among prickly blades of grass while the stars kiss me,
to be in his arms or hers kissing them back when they kiss me.

To go… To do… To to.

Breathing carefree and exuberant,
following whim,
leading with moxy.

Not giving a fuck,
not being afraid to say fuck,
not fucking caring about fucking offending any-fucking-one.

Being over the moon,
with a laugh brighter than venus,
smiling unapologetically wider than a big bang.

For me
to live
a life that has loved living.

For me
to love
a life that is lived loving me.

Thanks for stopping by! If you are participating in NaPoWriMo as well feel free to leave your link when you comment so I can check your work out!

Follow me on twitter @talichaj

Advertisements

Marching the Combat Zones We’re Supposed to Call Home (A brief free write)

A brief freewrite I did in regard to Black Rights. No title.

We have the right to remain
angry about corruption in the justice system.

To remain indignant about being profiled and shackled to an opinion of oppressors,
fired up as long as our people are being fired at.

To remain fed up with the notion that our lives are not worth an indictment,
on the front lines of this battle, marching the combat zones we’re supposed to call home.

To remain appalled by the lack of consideration for our humanity,
we have the right to remain.

We have the right to remain.

Something has tried to kill me and failed…

Earlier this year I had the privilege of competing in the Women Of the World Poetry Slam (WOWPS) and it was an amazing experience. One of my favorite aspects of that weekend was the workshops held by amazing poets like Gypsy Yo, Denise Jolly and Mahogany Browne. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to make it to all of the workshops, just the ones by the poets I mentioned. The poem I am sharing with you all today comes from the workshop facilitated by Mahogany Browne. We covered a lot of ground in her workshop and I wish I had even more time under her wing as she is a phenomenal inspiration.

The prompt we were given was to use this as our muse: “Come celebrate with me today. Something has tried to kill me and failed.” After we began to write Mahogany would toss out a random word every now and then that was to alter the path of our thoughts and it was our job to mold our words around that and make it coherent. Here is what happened (words in highlight were the words she tossed out if I remember correctly).

He took my heart
left me gasping for breath.
I was nearly buried in the spot
he abandoned me in. 

He was savage 
I swear he was
in the way he reached into me
and twisted until my pulse was his to control

When he told me it was over
I swear, 
He was savage

Must have been out for blood
Used to be the cave I dwelled in 
he was the place I’d go to 
when things weren’t or shouldn’t have been

Now he is the place I am held hostage
he is the unsafe space 
I thought was home.

He used to be the warmest blue
now, I swear it, 
he is silver cold,
winter white has got nothing on him

His love was once a roar
I couldn’t shut out
now he only sounds like an incessant hum of
It’s over. It’s over. It’s over.

I am under my skin naked
gasping for the air I gave his name
as if my lungs, gliding over and under, 
could tell my esophagus to call him back to me

I am covered in rust 
the way I cried for him
the moment he walked away from me
turned me tarnished

I wonder if it’s because she laughed more
smelled like something prettier,
like lavender.
Sustained him the way water sustains,

I wonder if she knows how he will take her love
and rip it, bend it, make malleable of it
as if it is not supposed to be stronger than steel
I swear he will, I swear it.

He tried to kill me, my heart, with his love.
He failed. 
I wailed
maybe like a banshee for all I know

I gave him hours he didn’t deserve
but when dusk came,
when it settled in around me like dust
I was still here

Breathing air I gave a new name,
my own name
as if my lungs, over and under, 
could tell my esophagus to call me back to myself. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this. I thought that prompt was awesome because it takes what you are writing onto a completely different path! Hopefully I will get the time to edit this and clean it up a bit as it is in its original form. Thanks for reading! 

“Sunday Kind Of Love” (Excerpt) FWF!

The story up to this point: Leila and Remmy have been best friends since high school. Which is just about when Leila fell in love with him but since he never showed any interest she settled for being just friends. Now they are both in college and Remmy has just shared a secret he’d been keeping from her for years, something that will make it impossible for them to be together even though Remmy is finally confessing his true feelings for Leila.

Remmy was shaking beside her, she couldn’t tell if it was his frustration or something else at fault. “Leila, please don’t think less of me because of this.” he said with imploring eyes. All the anger she had flooded from her with that one look. “I could never think less of you for doing something you thought would help your family.” she said as she took his hand in hers and gave a tiny squeeze. She kept speaking, “But Remmy, this is a big deal. You have to tell your parents what’s going on.” He shook his head, “I can’t. That’s another part of my contract. I can’t tell anyone about it.” Leila tilted her head, “But you told me.” Remmy gave her a look, “You’re different. You’re the one person I can make the exception for.”

Leila tried to calm the sudden butterfly infestation that was occurring in her stomach as Rem gazed at her now. It was a different look, she thought she knew them all but this one was new. He was staring at her as if he was trying to tell her something, as if he needed her to know what he was thinking. “Leila, if I say something right now do you promise not to hold it against me in the future?” She gave him a questioning look but nodded slowly. Remmy turned on the bed so his whole body was facing her, then reached out and ran his thumb along her jaw line. The touch gave Leila warm shivers. What is happening, she thought as she stared at her best friend. When he spoke his voice seemed to be coming from far away, almost muffled. Yet, she heard him, she understood. “I know you’re my someone better.” he said. Leila closed her eyes and tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. Remmy’s finger stopped tracing her soft skin. She knew what she needed to say, she just didn’t want to speak the words.

This whole time she’d known he was the one, and now he was telling her she was the one too. But it didn’t matter, it’s not like they could ever be together now. “Remmy, don’t do this.” She pleaded as she opened her eyes again to look at him. He looked hurt as he spoke, “Why not Leila? I lo…” Leila gave him a stern look and shook her head as she cut him off. “Please don’t say what I think you were going to say.” Leila slid to the edge of the bed and stood quickly. “I’m gonna go.” Remmy was only a beat behind her, nearly stumbling from standing too quickly as he tried to stop her from reaching the door. “Why are you leaving?” He asked frantically. “Because Remmy, this is too much.” She had one hand on the door knob but she couldn’t go yet. With her back to him she rested her forehead against the door as if she needed it’s support to go on.

“Did you know?” She said tentatively, relishing the way the door cooled her skin. Behind her, she heard Remmy moving closer. “Did I know what?” He asked which caused Leila to let out a harsh laugh. “How I’ve felt about you. This whole time, what, five years we’ve been friends. Have you known this whole time?” This was easy, she thought, talking to him without looking at him. She could do this. “For years, Remmy, I have cared about you in a way that I have never cared for anyone else. Tell me, if you’ve known.” Remmy was so close now. He placed one hand on the door near the side of Leila’s face to brace himself. With his other hand he tugged at Leila’s waist, trying to turn her towards him. “Will you look at me, please?” he asked when she resisted. Reluctantly she turned and looked up into his eyes. “I didn’t know.” his voice was rough with emotion, “But I hoped you did. I hoped when you looked at me you saw something worth looking at. I hoped you felt something for me like what I feel for you.” His hand was still on her waist, with his other, he tilted her chin up towards his face. “Leila, I know you don’t want to hear this but I need to say it.” He waited for her nod before he bent his head down so close their noses brushed. Instinctively, Leila licked her lips as her heart raced. Now she was the one shaking.

Remmy’s warm breath was causing more shivers as her eyes fluttered shut. His lips were almost pressed to hers when he whispered, “I love you, Leila Andrews, I’m in love with you.” He let the words kiss her. He spoke them slowly against her, letting his tongue slip across her bottom lip as he said her name. Leila felt like she was melting. Her legs weren’t so much weakened as they were unwilling to support her at this moment. She began to slump back against the door but Remmy’s hand on her waist kept her steady, pulled her closer to him. She was waiting for him to kiss her for real but he didn’t. He just kept holding her. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw the struggle in his. She knew she must look equally troubled. “Remmy, we can’t do this can we?” she asked with no idea what she even meant by ’this’. “Remmy shook his head, “It’s all my fault. If I’d known…” He trailed off with a pained look on his face.

In that moment Leila made a choice. “You’re wrong.” she declared. Remmy looked at her, confused. Inhaling deeply, Leila went on, “We can do this. Even if it’s just for now, for this one moment we are going to do this.” She wrapped her arms around Remmy’s neck and leaned into him. He dipped his head towards her with a smile tugging at the edge of his lips before their mouths melded. It was a slow kiss, sensual and passionate just the way Leila had always imagined kissing Remmy would be like. She could feel the heat coursing through every part of her body. She didn’t care about anything that came before this moment. This was right, finally everything was right even though she knew everything would soon go back to being wrong. Leila stopped thinking and whispered against Remmy’s soft lips, “I love you too.”

Hey! So it’s been a while since I posted a Free Write Friday, but here I am. It feels good to be back. The latest prompt was to write about a first kiss. I decided I’d go ahead and share the first kiss of the characters in the story I’ve been working on. I felt it would be a good fit with the prompt since everything was pretty much a free write. I never know what’s going to happen until after I’ve finished the sentence. It’s rough, this is the first draft so don’t murder me if there is really horrible grammer or anything of the sort. I probably won’t leave this up long but I did want to share it with you and get some feedback! 

FWF/NaPoWriMo “Edge”

everyone is always so afraid of getting too close to the edge

afraid of what happens when you go “too far”.

what happens when you go too far?

 

the mind is a mighty labyrinth

so easy to get lost inside.

do you ever get lost inside?

 

the mind is a matrix

always giving something new to those who explore it.

what if you don’t like what you find?

 

the edge sounds sharp

sounds like jutting, protruding, impending.

why can’t it be soft, melting, safe?

 

sometimes the edge is only there to be left behind

to be dove off of, leaped from

why is everyone so afraid of getting too close to it?

 

Don’t you know it’s okay too get to close to it sometimes?

 

Happy Free Write Friday! I’m still figuring out this poem. Thanks to Kellie Elmore for the prompt! I hope you are having a great weekend!

FWF/NaPoWriMo! “Life, love…”

 

Happy Monday! As always, the awesome/talented/creative Kellie Elmore gave an interesting prompt with Free Write Friday which you can read here. I hope you guys enjoy my take on it!

Make up your mind
I can not take your push and pull
Your hot then cold
You are an ever-swinging pendulum with all the back and forth

You are a Rubik’s cube
A high level sudoku
Not impossible to solve
But so much work to figure out

I am tired
Trying to make sense of everything you put me through
Never making sense of anything
My lids are so heavy

I used to understand.
I thought I understood
But now I am finding myself too often
In rooms that have just barely enough air in them to survive

But you want me to survive
Count on my will to stay with you
I feel rooted in your living room
And I just want to feel like I’m really home when I’m there

Tell me that I am home
Wrap me up, pull me close
Fill my nostrils with the scent of you
Until all I am is full of you

You are life
You are why I feel anything at all
And I just want to feel good with you again
I only want to be good with you

Make up your mind
Make up your mind to stick with me
Watch me love you even when I do not understand
Love me even when you do not think you have been understood.

 

Thanks for reading/listening! I hope you enjoyed my attempt at the prompt, if so, let me know in the comments below! You can also chat with me on twitter @talichaj or on my facebook page facebook.com/talichaj. And of course, be sure to follow the amazing Kellie Elmore as well @kellie_elmore!

 

 

Free Write Friday! “You Called Me Love”

wpid-free-write-friday-kellie-elmore.jpg

The Prompt: Ponder This

Love was just a word
Just a flick of a tongue
A quick exhale
It only meant fleeting

And then you happened
And you’d call me ‘love’
And it made me feel like
I was burning under my skin

No one had ever gotten beneath the surface
Until you, your love, you nestled inside me
Wriggled your way through the cracks
I thought I’d kept well hidden

You planted your lips as seeds against the
Soil of my fluttering field heart and blossomed
A brilliantly beautiful thing you were,
And you’d call me “love”

My favorite past-time was running the
naked skin of my palms along the bared
Flesh of your back, kneading my fingers into
The softness that camouflaged the sinewy strength against your spine

No, it was looking into those eyes,
The ones that always drank me in as if I were the only thing to behold,
the way they turned my pulse into an impulsively pulsating rhythm uncontrollable.

Or maybe it was just loving you back.
Yes, loving you back as hard as I was capable
Until my knuckles ached from holding on
And my throat was raw from the strain of saying the words so much they became my exhale

Love never felt like butterflies to me
It was only just a word, fleeting
And then you happened
And you’d call me ‘love’

I swear there were wings inside
Beating gently against my ribcage
Eager to find their way to you
every time you called me ‘love’.

So it’s been a couple of weeks since I posted for #FWF it feels good to be back! I actually started a story for last weeks prompt but I haven’t had a chance to finish it yet, keep an eye out for a really creepy story though 🙂

I hope you guys enjoyed this, it was random as always. I look forward to reading what everyone else posted in response to this prompt as well! 

Be sure to check out Kellie on twitter @kellie_elmore and you can follow me there as well @talichaj