Hi guys! Hope everyone is still going strong with NaPoWriMo if you’re participating. Today I decided to write a poem about my mom who passed away a few months ago. The problem with writing about someone who has recently died is that you typically tend to write poems only about the fact that they just died (at least that is my experience). So here is what I came up with:
Every time I write poems
with you as a muse, they
wind up not being about you.
I write about cigarettes,
or the tumor I couldn’t avert my
gaze from quick enough—a
mass of execution.
Everything else though,
the things that made you,
come with an epitaph,
a ceremony of eulogies, the
memories of you are an arrangement
of funeral flowers I don’t
know how to care for properly,
I pretend they are not
drying out in the other room.
Your Gone is so much easier
to write about than your Here,
the bitter of hurt pours out first,
the you I want to write about
has settled, like sugar at
the bottom of an unstirred pitcher,
I like to keep you-I-can-write-about
and you-I-can’t separate, hoping
to swallow the whole lot of bitter
until what’s left is the saccharine, that
remembering you, all jolly ranchers,
and gummy smiles is the only way.