My favorite moment of The Grammy’s last night (and pretty much the only thing I didn’t fast forward through during the whole show) was the Chandelier performance by Sia. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Sia- I have ever since the moment I first heard Breathe Me from her third album ten or eleven years ago, but Kristen and Maddie are what made this performance breathtaking. The way they throw themselves into this whole production is what makes me appreciate artistic freedom.
Of course, I knew Maddie would kill it because that kid is phenomenal but Kristen was a huge surprise. It’s not that doubted her ability to portray such a serious character (while dancing at that!), I just hadn’t expected her to be so intriguing with it, so invested in this kind of character. (I know, shame on me for putting her in a comedic box, I don’t like to underestimate people so I’m not sure why I did so for her).
I needed to watch every facial expression, every change in mood and every act of embracing or rejecting that change. I can’t describe in one word the feeling I had while viewing this for the first time but my chest was tight, my jaw was clenched, and I was hanging onto every movement. When Kristen mouths “I’m sorry”, man that gets me every time! To be aware that you are in an unsafe space, that you are doing something to yourself that is harmful, and to be willing to own it is hard. It’s even harder to apologize to yourself and to those around you for doing something against your best interest, so I found that moment really drawing me in.
I don’t think this video should be watched just once, I think to fully grasp the complexity of emotion and expression you have to really look. It’s there and it’s raw and beautiful. I think Sia’s videos and live performances do a good job of starting a conversation on the subject of mental health (especially since this song deals with the topic of her past history with alcoholism). She invites us into the chaos that is her mind–that is the mind of many others out there. A lot of times dealing with emotions can be overwhelming, just like the pace of this video can be. You don’t know where to focus and even how to focus on one thought or feeling. I think the best thing is to take a deep breath and spend time exploring (although everyone is different so there may be more to it for some).
Enough rambling on from me. Watch, discuss, share and I hope you enjoy the video. Try to go in with an open mind!