Derailed. New Poem!

His heart is a runaway freight car.
It derailed somewhere around noon
on a Tuesday in 2009 when she called him crying.
She could barley sob the words out
but his brain pieced together the fragments of her heart break.

Blood.

Lost.

Baby.

He’s been careening ever since.
Crashing and burning his way through the years,
feuling his flee with whiskey and pilfered pain pills that contort his hurt into something that much more resembles bearable.

He is not as numb as he pretends to be,
but she needs him to be stronger so he keeps playing along.
She doesn’t want his “I love you’s” anymore,
instead he confirms his love with “it’s not your fault’s” and “we’ll try again’s”.

In a box beneath their bed
she keeps an envelope filled with discharge papers,
she often holds them to her chest,
they are the closest she’ll ever come to cradling her babies.

At night, when he stares at her turned back
he imagines she is still the woman he married,
visualizes her as whole again,
her womb not yet the gravesite of her spirit.
She smelled the way honey tastes,
and broke easily into a smile.
These days she just breaks down.

They used to make love on a whim,
now it hurts too much to touch,
it feels like two runaway freight cars colliding,
that derailed around noon on a Tuesday in 2009

and never

made it back

on track.

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29 thoughts on “Derailed. New Poem!

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  4. i think you have sensitively demonstrated the pain of miscarriage. i like how you have created people that i want to care about and with whom i can identify. sometimes “we’ll try again” are the saddest words uttered, and “it’s not your fault” are the hardest to believe.

  5. so much pain here in these words, these exchanges and the emotional intelligence written here is so universal to so many relationships. deflection and detours away from the truth;

    He is not as numb as he pretends to be,
    but she needs him to be stronger so he keeps playing along.
    She doesn’t want his “I love you’s” anymore,
    instead he confirms his love with “it’s not your fault’s” and “we’ll try again’s”.

    so well done, i love story poems. i write them quite often, your is exceptional, ty.

  6. oh wow… such a painful piece. the prosy approach really fits here, makes the pain palpable. a marvelous, very gripping poem. heart-wrenchingly stunning write.

  7. the pain and loss are so fresh here in your words, the wanting what is gone
    I pray for peace, miraculous surprises…

  8. ugh….hard reality…know a couple that kept losing their kids to miscarraige and it was so hard on her…on both of them really…to feel the hope they finally are there and then to lose it…so painful a reality to have to try to come back from….way emo on this one…

  9. this really brought tears to my eyes.. i have friends that tried to have a baby for a long time and she lost two babies during the first three months of pregnancy – and it’s just so tough for both to go through this… very well written and a sensitive capture of the pain

  10. I just watched the 4 videos that you posted as your stand up. I really liked them, especially wreckage. I like how diverse you are in your subject matter and that you occasionally write message poems. Message poems are like modern fairy tales to me.

  11. This is really good and really sad. I really like the subject. These lines are the most powerful to me: her womb not yet the gravesite of her spirit.
    She smelled the way honey tastes,
    and broke easily into a smile.
    These days she just breaks down.

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