New Poem! “Faded”

memoryWhen you’re young, your mind isn’t supposed to let you down
This is when it’s at its peak
Memories should still be fresh
Not fading,
harder to see like stars in a city night

I’m afraid.
Its hard already to remember yesterday
Time blends and blurs and I can’t separate them on my own
Seconds are lost to me like childhood innocence

I can’t remember the important things
Will I one day not remember anything?
I try to help myself, write things down…
Then I forget to look back at what I’d written

Sometimes in the middle of a sentence
Even a slight distraction will vanquish any residue
Of the topic of conversation and I will find myself asking
What was I saying? Or What was I even talking about.

Does this mean I’m fated to forget?
One day I won’t even remember my own name?
The name of the street I grew up on?
The lyrics to my favorite song?

Will I forget everything I’d ever accomplished?
And if so does that make them not even worth the effort?
How will I know what to live for
Or how to live, if I can’t remember what makes me, happy.

Who will I call on when I’m frightened from not knowing
If I can’t remember who my friends are?
Will I remember that I am a poet that writing is a favorite pass time?
Will I remember that reading calms me when life is crazy, providing an escape.

I want my childhood to be brighter in my head
My first boyfriends touch to linger in the thought of him
The first time I met my best friend shouldn’t be this fuzzy
And I really should be able to recall the very important thing I was supposed to do last week that just slipped my mind

Life is fleeting, I want to hold on to it all
I am too slow to keep up and keep tightly grasping to all its details
I am losing so much of what’s happened already just to stay moving
I want to time out for just a little while so I can collect the pieces I’ve dropped along the way.

I am afraid.
It can happen to me.
I can forget…everything
I guess if I forgot, at least I wouldn’t be so scared
I wouldn’t remember to be.

2 thoughts on “New Poem! “Faded”

  1. This definitely captures the angst of youth…not certain how old you are, but trust me, you never forget the most tender moments. The others fly by, but the most important ones, those will always stick with you.

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