Its hard already to remember yesterday
Time blends and blurs and I can’t separate them on my own
Seconds are lost to me like childhood innocence
I can’t remember the important things
Will I one day not remember anything?
I try to help myself, write things down…
Then I forget to look back at what I’d written
Sometimes in the middle of a sentence
Even a slight distraction will vanquish any residue
Of the topic of conversation and I will find myself asking
What was I saying? Or What was I even talking about.
Does this mean I’m fated to forget?
One day I won’t even remember my own name?
The name of the street I grew up on?
The lyrics to my favorite song?
Will I forget everything I’d ever accomplished?
And if so does that make them not even worth the effort?
How will I know what to live for
Or how to live, if I can’t remember what makes me, happy.
Who will I call on when I’m frightened from not knowing
If I can’t remember who my friends are?
Will I remember that I am a poet that writing is a favorite pass time?
Will I remember that reading calms me when life is crazy, providing an escape.
I want my childhood to be brighter in my head
My first boyfriends touch to linger in the thought of him
The first time I met my best friend shouldn’t be this fuzzy
And I really should be able to recall the very important thing I was supposed to do last week that just slipped my mind
Life is fleeting, I want to hold on to it all
I am too slow to keep up and keep tightly grasping to all its details
I am losing so much of what’s happened already just to stay moving
I want to time out for just a little while so I can collect the pieces I’ve dropped along the way.
I am afraid.
It can happen to me.
I can forget…everything
I guess if I forgot, at least I wouldn’t be so scared
I wouldn’t remember to be.